Coming Attractions – August 3rd
I’m gonna keep this brief since I’m hungover and my brain isn’t working very fast. Apparently, it was International IPA Day yesterday, so I went over Jonathan’s apartment and drank a bunch of IPAs and now my face is numb. Here’s what’s coming out this weekend…
Total Recall (Tanya the Tiger)
I unfortunately haven’t seen the original, so I can’t make tons of Ahnold jokes like this. Or this. Or this. Or this.
This movie reminds me of I, Robot or Minority Report. But I couldn’t tell if it was going to be good like Minority Report or really bad. Well, its apparently as bad as the Fullscreen version of I, Robot. RottenTomatoes has it in at only 32%. MetaCritic scores it at 44 out of 100. Its not looking so good.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (Andy PoopyPants)
Did you realize this was the third movie? When did the second one come out? Maybe the fact that it made only $52 million had something to do with my not remembering it. Its not like the first one did that much better, at $64 million. Why do they keep making these movies if no one goes and sees them? Neither of them has even made $100 million worldwide. I guess they’re cheap to make (Wimpy Kid 1 only cost $15 million to make, and Rodrick Rules cost $21 million) so they end up making the studio money. Whatever. This hurts my already hurting brain.
This movie hasn’t gotten favorable reviews, as well. It is doing a tad bit better than Total Recall with a RottenTomatoes score of 48% and a MetaCritic score of 55. Yeah I don’t think many people are gonna see this one either.
Looks like another bad weekend at the box office. With more Olympics this weekend, I think a lot of people will stay home and watch stuff like Greco Roman Wrestling or Shotput. I think The Dark Knight Rises wins again but with only a modest take, say $45 million?
Oh man I need to lie down.
Sumofale – Week 14
Dark Knight ‘Total’ly wins again
The Dark Knight Rises won the weekend once again, bringing in $35.7 million, which is only $4 million off from what I called last week. Which means I am good at… um… predicting how much a movie will make… 3 weeks after it originally comes out. The Dark Knight Rises passed $350 million this weekend making it the 3rd most successful movie of the year behind The Avengers and The Hunger Games.
Coming in second this weekend was Total Recall with a meager $25.5 million. On the now standard International Big Budget Flopometer, Total Recall lands slightly ahead of Tim Riggins in Battleship (which finally sunk this weekend, RIP) and slightly behind Tim Riggins in John Carter. (By the way, the International Big Budget Flopometer looks like this.) It did make more than the original’s opening weekend take of $25.5 million, however if you adjust for ticket inflation, it didn’t even come close to the would be $48.4 million. Two tangents, since we don’t need to discuss this movie anymore. It did bad, end of discussion.
Tangent #1: NY Mag reports that movie ticket prices are more expensive than ever, averaging $8.12 (this is the ticket inflation factor). Eight dollars and twelve cents!! Anna buys us discount movie tickets that cost 8 dollars. AMC Kips Bay has super cheap matinees and those are still 7 bucks. And they’re at 10 am! Okay so the average is $8.12, if its $14 in New York City (and LA and Chicago) where in the country is it… hang on I’m doing some quick and in no way accurate math… 2 DOLLARS!?!?!?!
Tangent #2: Liz, Sean and I watched the original Total Recall last Sunday. If you’ve been thinking lately, “Hey, that new Total Recall remake just came out, I never saw the first one. I should.” Here’s my advice: DON’T. It. Was. Awful. It’s not worth the $4.99 it costs to buy (you can’t even rent it!) it on Amazon Instant. It’s not even worth the two bucks it costs to rent it from the Bodega across the street, after a $20 deposit. Get your ass anywhere but Mars. </rant>
In 4th is Ice Age, with $8.6 million. That puts its 4 week total at $132 million.
Rounding out the top 5 this weekend is The Watch. It brought in $6.5 million which is a 49% drop from its already bad opening weekend. It has currently earned only $25 million. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade do not get to be between Tim Riggins and Tim Riggins. They go on a scale with Adam Sandler and Tom Cruise.
Moonrise Kingdom made $1.2 million this weekend, bringing it’s total to $40 million It has become the second best grossing independent movie behind The BEMH ($45 million).
So apparently 360 came out last weekend too. It opened in only 2 theaters and made $12k. My deepest apologies to The Bossum. I blame the sauce. Here’s the trailer in case you were clamoring…
Dead This Week: Battleship (Riggins Wrecks), WTEWYE (Prometheus Looks Too Scary), The Dictator (The Bossum) (which was missing and presumed dead last week, but it’s body finally washed up on the banks of the East River this weekend. Lenny then said, “Looks like he’s going from the box office to just a box.” BUM BUM!)
Long Gone: That’s My Boy (The Bossum), SFEW (The Bossum), Art of Rap (The Bossum), Chernobyl Diaries (Anna’s Team), High School (Anna’s Team), Piranha 3DD (Pak Attack), Apartment 143 (Tanya Tokyo), and God Bless America (Riggins Wrecks).
- Pak Attack – $732,096,426 (ALL 6 movies 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Anna’s Team – $528,136,500 (5 movies 1, 2, 3, 6, 7)
- Riggins Wrecks – $519,020,149 (6 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
- Prometheus Looks Too Scary – $479,847,730 (ALL 7 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Andy PoopyPants – $460,651,166 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- The Boss Possum – $327,380,801 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Lucky Number Slevin – $241,963,289 (5 movies 1, 3, 4, 5, 7)
This week Anna’s Team jumped into second place as she broke the $500 million mark. The Pak Attack is now only slightly more than $200 million better than Anna’s Team. Team Anna still has two movies left to come out and plenty more money to squeeze out of The Dark Knight Rises. Will this race end up with Danielle as Usain Bolt, or will Anna be Nathan Adrian, winning by a fingernail? We’ll get an even better picture when The Campaign comes out next week.
It looks like with basically nothing left (I’m not putting anything on Hope Springs), Riggins Wrecks is in good position for the bronze medal. Oh, the bronze medal. Clearly the most confusing medal. You’re happy to medal, but it’s also like “Oh that’s the crappy medal. It’s not even worth anything.”
Andy PoopyPants and Prometheus Looks Too Scary are duking it out for 4th place. All of Liz’s movies have come out so she’s coasting on the couple million per week of Ted, Step Up and Beasts of the Southern Wild. Andy still has Sparkle yet to come out, so it’s going to be close.
This coming weekend is Tanya Toronto‘s big weekend. Is the Bourne Legacy going to be huge? If it is, she’s right back in the thick of it. If it goes the way of Tim Riggins, it’s time to rest your starters, play your rookies and hope for a good draft pick next year.
Coming Attractions – August 10th
Goddammit! I coulda sworn Hope Springs comes out this weekend. But apparently, it came out on Wednesday. It’s made $2.3 million in those two days. I’m struggling to come up with the right Olympics metaphor to describe me losing my touch as we head down the final stretch towards the end of the summer. Gymnastics? Track & Field? Ugh, I don’t know. Here’s the rest of the preview for Hope Springs and the rest of what’s coming out this weekend…
Hope Springs (Riggins’ Wrecks)
Oh man. I’m all kinds of uncomfortable. I have to admit I had no idea what this movie was about when I drafted it. I just saw Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones and thought: Old people counter-programming! It still fits the mold and is doing fairly well in reviews: RottenTomatoes has 79% of critics liking it and Metacritic gives it a 67 out of 100. Maybe it makes a The BEMH-like run.
Two more things about this movie: (1) I keep confusing it with this movie, and thank god I do not own that one. (2) I keep seeing the poster for it and I swear I’ve seen it before. Maybe that’s why I didn’t know when it was coming out; As soon as I saw Meryl Streep’s face I’d start wondering where I’d seen a poster like that before, and not get to the bottom of the poster, where it says the release date. I like that excuse let’s go with that. It’s better than my old standby: I’m a moron. Anyway, the best I could come up with is a mix of this and this.
“For real” coming out this weekend…
The Bourne Legacy (Tanya Thunderbird)
So we’ve had plenty of reboots, tons of sequels and prequels, even a preboot, but have we had a rebooquel?
The Bourne movies have fared alright in the box office. Identity, not as well as you’d think, with only $121 million, but the second one improved on that, with $176 million, and the third did the best of all 3, with $227 million. I think this one won’t do as well as the last movie, but there’s a good chance that this will get a strong showing at the box office. I mean he runs around beating people up in tight, confined spaces. Did you see him jump into that tiny little alley? That was badass!
Critics are not as easily impressed by punching and kicking as I am. RottenTomatoes only has just over half the critics (57%) liking it. That’s not horrible, but not good either. Metacritic is a bit more favorable at 61 out of 100. At least the little icon is green.
The Campaign (Anna’s Team)
I think it looks funny. I think its probably gonna do pretty well. I mean its a crapshoot with R-rated comedies (emphasis on crap), but if you can make something of decent quality and that’s actually funny, you could catch lightning in a bottle (see: Ted). Did they produce something of decent quality that’s actually funny? It looks like they may have. RottenTomatoes has it coming in at 64% (just 5 points below Ted by the way). MetaCritic has it at just 52 out of 100, but most of the reviews are either mixed or good, there are only 4 “all bad” reviews.
So what happens this weekend?
I think people go back to the movies for one last weekend of the summer (and I don’t think its next weekend). I think
people most people* have Olympic fatigue. There’s really only the 4×100 and 4×400 left out of the major sports. I don’t think people care too much about the gold medal in Sailing, Tae Kwon Do, Wrestling, the Mens 50,000 meter walk, Mountain Biking or Rhythmic Gymnastics. And do people watch the closing ceremonies? I don’t think I’ve ever watched one. It’s on Sunday anyway, which won’t hurt the weekend box office too badly.
*I’m obsessed with (in no particular order): Usain Bolt (I know what you’re thinking, “Yeah, yeah he’s fast. Whatever.” But watch 200m qualifying heat he has the thing won outright in the first 7 seconds. And afterwards he said he was running at 60%! 60%!! He ran 200 meters in under 21 seconds at almost half speed!), Destinee Hooker (you don’t have to watch this whole video, but just watch from like 45 second to 2 minutes, she has a monster block to two destructive spikes), Megan Rapinoe (you can have Abby Wambach and Alex Morgan. Did you see this fucking goal against Canada?!?! Never mind the one she bent in on a corner kick), and Aries Merritt (he, like Bolt, beat everyone in his heat by like 5 feet and just seems really nice).
I don’t really know. The Dark Knight Rises will still have a strong showing as usual, but I don’t think it wins the weekend. Earlier in the week, I was convinced The Bourne Legacy would’ve won hands down, but after so-so reviews and the strength of The Campaign‘s reviews, I think it’ll be a lot closer. So I guess I say Bourne, then Campaign, then Batman, then the old folks.
Enjoy the weekend!
Sumofale – Week 15
Bourne to be wild
The Dark Knight Rises finally loses a weekend, as rebooquel The Bourne Legacy wins the weekend with $38.1 million. The box office take is better than Bourne 1 ($27.1 million), but worse than Bourne 2 ($52.5 million), and considerably (42%) less than Bourne 3 ($69.2 million). Parked between Identity and Supremacy means Legacy should make somewhere around $150 million. (What a weird sentence.) It also means that Jeremy Renner can go ahead and purchase that second home because this movie is successful enough (I mean, they made a second Fantastic Four movie) that they’re going to make The Bourne Delicacy and The Bourne Perforation. He also will come back as Hawkeye in The Avengers 2 and 3. Plus, they are going to make another Mission Impossible movie, which he may or may not take over as the lead.
I told you people would go back to the movies. The top-12 movies this weekend combined to make $133 million, whereas last weekend the top-12 only made $113.8 million. Apparently, this weekend’s top-12 was 7% less than last year, which is actually kind of interesting because the top 3 movies of this weekend in 2011 were Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Help, and Final Destination 5. So maybe they didn’t go back in droves, but there were still some okay numbers.
Coming in second this weekend was The Campaign with $26.5 million. Apparently, the movie got a CinemaScore of “B-“. To get the CinemaScore, people are asked to fill out a little questionnaire after seeing a movie, asking if you liked it. This is supposed to track the “word of mouth” appeal of a movie. Hypothetically, the higher the CinemaScore, the more likely you will tell your friends that you liked a movie and will tell them to go see it. I find this kinda facinating, and wish I got one of these little questionnaires after going to a movie. Anyway, a B- doesn’t bode too well for tons more people flocking to see The Campaign, although there aren’t really any comedies coming down the pike, so it might fill a niche for a couple weeks.
In 3rd this weekend, Batman. $19 million. $389 million total. ‘Nough said.
In 4th this weekend with $14.6 million, was Hope Springs. Not too bad for 2300 theaters; an average of $6k per theater.
Rounding out the top 5 is Total Recall. Down 69% (Yikes!) in its second weekend, with $8 million. It has made $44 million total.
- Pak Attack – $733,447,587 (ALL 6 movies 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Anna’s Team – $592,049,635 (6 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
- Riggins Wrecks – $555,485,128 (ALL 7 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Prometheus Looks Too Scary – $494,162,847 (ALL 7 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Andy PoopyPants – $480,358,675 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- The Boss Possum – $331,239,796 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Lucky Number Slevin – $305,119,232 (6 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7)
Everyone stayed in the exact same place they were in last week, so there’s not much to say. As the summer winds down, it looks like everyone is where they are gonna end up. Anna’s Team is making a valiant run at Pak Attack, as she’s only trailing by $150 million. That’s still a lot, but I think it’s the closest anyone has come to Danielle all year.
There is an exciting(?) race for fourth place (knock on wood, but Riggins’ Wrecks looks to have 3rd place all locked up) between Prometheus Looks Too Scary and Andy PoopyPants, as they are separated by only $14 million and Andy still has Sparkle yet to open. I really enjoy getting to write “Andy” and “Sparkle” in the same sentence on a regular basis. Thanks bud.
Oh, Tanya Terrible. So sorry, but your team is no good. I thought you were gonna make a nice little run there at the end. What, with Bourne, and Total Recall, and Plant-Boy back-to-back-to-back. But, not so much. You’ve been in last place for so much of this game, and that’s probably where you’ll end up. Maybe you could make a run at The Bossum, but that depends on if Timothy Green can beat The Expendables 2 next weekend.
Till next time…
Coming Attractions – August 17th
Of course the final weekend of the summer has 4 movies coming out to preview. Here we go!
The Odd Life of Timothy Green (Tanya Tomato)
Awwww!!! It’s so cute, they plant a box of their hopes and dreams and it-Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Oh! Sorry, nodded off for a second there. I find it interesting that the zaniest thing that these two come up with for their kid after a bottle of wine is “Our kid will ROCK!” Crazy! I’m pretty sure that after a bottle of wine, the kid of my dreams would shoot fireballs and fly. Just saying.
This movie actually came out on Wednesday and has made $2 million already. It’s not faring too well in the reviews. RottenTomatoes has it at 38% and Metacritic scored it a 48 out of 100. This was my favorite, from Jordan Huffman of ScreenCrush: “My eyes rolled so many times I probably looked like I was having a stroke.” Forecast: Rainy.
The Expendables 2 (The Boss Possum)
I wonder if anything blows up in this movie. I also wonder where there’s more plastic, all the plastic explosives they use or the combined faces of Schwarzenneger, Van Damme and Stallone. Zing! Be sure to tip your waitresses.
So, its clearly just supposed to be a fun movie where these guys blow tons of shit up and throw out one-liners while blowing tons of shit up. Is it actually any fun? Kinda. RottenTomatoes says, that for the most part it is fun, giving it a score of 66%. MetaCritic kind of agrees with a score of 54 out of 100, where 17 of 19 of those scores are either positive or mixed. Forecast: Partly Cloudy, and could be our #1 movie of the weekend.
Sparkle (Andy PoopyPants)
I thought they already made this movie. I know, I know, they actually did already make this movie.
I don’t think the “RIP Whitney” card will really help this movie that much. I think if it came out 4 months ago, it would have had a huge impact. But I think the sub-par reviews hurt it too much. Plus, its only opening in 2300 theaters. Forecast: Cloudy.
ParaNorman (Anna’s Team)
The good news? Its good. RottenTomatoes has 84% of critics liking it. MetaCritic scored it a 73 out of 100 (with a couple 100s and no negative reviews). Plus, its gorgeous to look at.
The not so good news? I’m not sure a stop-motion movie about zombies is going to make a ton of money. Coraline, who director Chris Butler was storyboard supervisor for, only made $75 million even though it scored a 90% on the old Tomatometer. In general, it doesn’t look like people go see stop-motion animation — the top stop-motion movie ever was Chicken Run at $107 million — even though there are some pretty amazing movies in the genre (sub-genre?): Coraline, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Wallace and Gromit, and The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Man this makes me sad. Let’s watch some Wallace and Gromit to cheer me up. There. That’s better. (Oliver needs to get on that whole “getting the mail and creating a breakfast making Rube Goldberg machine” thing.) Forecast: Mostly cloudy
Last weekend of the SUmmer MOvie FAntasy LEague folks. Again, this does not mean I’m going to stop keeping track of how the movies are doing. It just means this is my last Coming Attractions preview blog. Wait, why are you cheering? Stop that! I’ll have an official Weekly Breakdown next Tuesday and probably keep tabs of how everyone’s doing for the next few weeks. Since we’re so very close to the end, here’s one more look at the scoreboard:
- Pak Attack – $733,518,428 (ALL 6 movies 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Anna’s Team – $608,757,341 (6 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
- Riggins Wrecks – $564,692,465 (ALL 7 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Prometheus Looks Too Scary – $497,101,215 (ALL 7 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Andy PoopyPants – $484,561,383 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- The Boss Possum – $332,073,044 (6 movies 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7)
- Lucky Number Slevin – $320,845,442 (6 movies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7)
You don’t get any analysis. Just a list. Enjoy the weekend
Sumofale Sweet 16
In last weekend of summer, people are Ex’spend’ables
With $28.6 million, The Expendables 2 was the top movie in the country this weekend. Its about $6 million off from the original Expendables, which went on to make $103 million. Then again, the original Expendables set the bar so high.
The Bourne Legacy dropped 55% to $17 million ($69 million total), but that was still enough to come in second this weekend. The Bourne Legacy did have enough to outperform it’s original, as the The Bourne Identity had only made $54.4 million through 10 days. (Sorry no Matt Damon workout clips. Hopefully, this makes up for it.) However, Legacy‘s $69 million is well off the 2 week tally of The Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum, $98.8 million and $131.6 million, respectively.
In third place this weekend was ParaNorman with $14 million. If we’re going to keep this theme going, ParaNorman underperformed when compared to Coraline which made $16 million in its debut and opened in 30% less theaters. ParaNorman received a “B+” for its CinemaScore, which means people thought it was pretty good, but probably won’t be flocking to it next weekend in droves.
Fourth this weekend was The Campaign with $13.1 million. Down 50% from last weekend, The Campaign‘s two week total is now $51 million. This is well above the 2 week mark set by its predecessor which had only made $14 million at this point.
Rounding out the top five this weekend was Sparkle with $11.6 million. Unfortunately, the 1976 version of this movie would be the best use of this “original” gimmick, but alas Box Office Mojo’s data doesn’t go back that far. Bummer.
Just outside the top 5, The Dark Knight Rises made $11 million this weekend. With that, it breaks the $400 million mark, making it the 4th fastest movie to do so (behind The Avengers, The Dark Knight, and Avatar). Also, it’s $409 million moves it ahead of The Hunger Games and makes it the second highest grossing movie of 2012, behind The Avengers. It also makes it the 12th most money-making movie ever. Next in its sights are #11 Toy Story 3 ($415 million), #10 The Lion King ($422 million) and #9 Pirates of the Caribbean 2 ($423 million).
The Odd Life of Timothy Green came in 7th this weekend with $10.8 million, though since it came out last Wednesday, its made $15 million so far. When reached for a reaction about how poorly her movie had done this weekend, Tanya Tarazan seemed really upset. (SPOILER ALERT! Although I’m not really sure how sorry I am if I spoil the end of The Odd Life of Timothy Green for you.)
- Pak Attack – $734,027,113 (ALL 6 movies)
- Anna’s Team – $651,881,320 (All 7 movies)
- Riggins Wrecks – $580,345,442 (ALL 7 movies)
- Andy PoopyPants – $503,406,764 (ALL 7 movies)
- Prometheus Looks Too Scary – $501,121,243 (ALL 7 movies)
- The Boss Possum – $361,725,573 (ALL 7 movies)
- Lucky Number Slevin – $361,505,408 (ALL 7 movies)
Well things just got exciting! With everyone having all of their movies released, some races have really started heating up.
Anna’s Team is only $82 million behind the Pak Attack. This is unprecedented, as no one has been within $100 million of Danielle since… well ever, because Danielle picked a movie that had $200 million before the game even started. (I know it was fair, I’m just bitter.)
This is the last official weekly breakdown *Tear*. I want to do one last wrap up of how individual movies did, etc. and will keep keeping score every week or so, but we’re coming down to the end of the road. At least things are interesting towards the finish. That makes me feel good about myself and my idea, which at the end of the day is what really matters.
Sumofale -It’s been a while
Hey there! How’ve you been. It’s been a while since we last spoke, in this fashion at least. I thought I’d take this chance to check in on the league and see what’s been happening. I half-heartedly started a post in the last weekend of August but then didn’t finish it or post it for a number of reasons, the largest of them being laziness. Wanna read it? Here:
Well we’re in the Dog Days of Summer*, no new movies to report. No crazy goings on. The Expendables 2 won the weekend with a meager $13.4 million, in a weekend that was pretty crappy all around; the top-12 made only $84 million total (I can’t believe no one wanted to go see the JGL-bike messenger-action flick!). The Dark Knight Rises made enough this weekend to break into the top-10 all time. Bane approves.
*Man the internet is so much fun. I was going to link to Andy’s so-so movie selection, but after Googling I found way more fun stuff. Like learning. Learning is fun. Although, I do think I knew the whole “Sirius in the celestial sky” part. But there’s also actual dogs in summer. And there’s apparently this, which I’m sure is all about women’s rights and equality.
So after that weekend and a couple more since then, here’s where we stand…
- Anna’s Team – $753,492,566
- Pak Attack – $739,381,809
- Riggins Wrecks – $618,214,421
- Andy PoopyPants – $531,494,696
- Prometheus Looks Too Scary – $510,558,357
- Lucky Number Slevin – $440,442,146
- The Boss Possum – $418,908,527
I linked to everyone’s team (also updated) since its been so long you probably want to see how certain movies have done.
Wait, Whaaaaaaatttt?! Who’s that in first place? Not Danielle? Danielle’s not in first place! (I apologize, that may have been mean, it was just in fun and I in no way wanted to imply that you were a witch Danielle or that your skin was green). I’m not gonna go into a huge breakdown but basically The Dark Knight Rises + Magic Mike + The Campaign ($80 million!) + ParaNorman > The Avengers. Andy took a larger step away from Liz since half his team is still playing at art house movie theaters around the country. And Tanya pulled away from Sean for good, leaving him in last.
I also came up with a way to graph everyone’s team throughout the year:
Cool right? As you can tell, this year has been both very competitive and not very competitive at the same time. Click on it for a larger view.
I have a lot more stuff in draft-form (reason number #3 I didn’t post that earlier post), so if my boss is still out of the office next week, I’ll give you some more team and year-long break downs.