Yay! 3 movies this weekend. Here’s what’s coming out…

Aftershock (Sean)

I literally said “Oh jeeze!” and made a half turn away flinch after that last scene. I guess that’s what they were going for. The over/under for peeple being squished/impaled by large objects in this movie is 10. And I’m taking the over.

“The only thing scarier than Mother Nature is Human Nature.” So, an earthquake hits and the result is all the bad guys escape from prison. I’m pretty sure I saw this story before in a Batman comic. I’m pretty sure that was better.

I don’t really have much else to say about this movie considering its exactly the type of movie I don’t want to see and it looks bad (Reviews confirm: Rotten Tomatoes = 39% (15% Top Critics), MetaCritic = 40). Also, for some reason, I got the feeling from this trailer that this movie contains an almost-rape by a creepy convict.* Why is this a thing?!! Lets move on!

Prediction: $2 million total. $150k opening.

PS: This movie is not a nationwide release, so Sean gets all summer for this to not make money for him.

*Its “website” (Facebook page, not a good sign for its success) confirms it with this comment: “If it didn’t have a rape scene it would be worth watching :/” Annoyed emoticon indeed!

Next up:

Tyler Perry Presents: Peeples (Danielle)

It’s like The Proposal* x Meet the Parents, except well, you know. Do peeple actually have incredibly mean, overbearing fathers like this? “Oh hi! Nice to meet you. You love my daughter unconditionally and want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with her and take care of her?? I hate you. Dick.”

As we witnessed last year, Tyler Perry makes money. It’s not on a scale of any blockbuster, but his last four movies have averaged $51 million. Now, the two highest grossing of those four had Madea in them, but his most recent movie, Temptation, was Madea-less and managed to pull in $51 million. I find this impressive considering I had no idea this movie was is out in theaters, looks like it belongs on Lifetime, and stars Kim Kardashian. It’s pretty safe to say Peeples is gonna do just fine. Plus, I think it gets a little Kerry Washington bump (Scandal is the shit!). It doesn’t even matter if Peeples is good. (Spoiler: It’s not. It’s 38% Rotten (but 72% of the audience wants to see it. My point exactly.) and a Metacritic score of 50. A quick digression: When your movie synopsis has “regular guy” in quotes like this: “Sparks fly in the Hamptons when ‘regular guy’ Wade Walker (Craig Robinson) crashes the preppy Peeples family reunion…” I’m pretty sure the movie’s going to be bad.)

Prediction: It outperforms the average. $65 million total. $25 million this weekend.

*It hurts that I’ve seen this movie. Apparently, so did a lot of peeple, though. It made $164 million!!!!


The Great Gatsby (Liz)

I can’t tell if this movie is going to be good. I’m in, then I’m out, then back in, then out again. I mean, Moulin Rouge and Romeo + Juliet were very entertaining. Australia was bad, even by in-flight movie standards. Let’s see what the professionals have to say: Rotten Tomatoes has it as 45% with Top Critic scores at only 31%. MetaCritic is a little more positive, giving it a score of 55%, where the majority of the reviews are “mixed.” The overall themes seem to be “Gorgeous to look at but missed the execution.”

The question that we care about, of course is: How much money will it make? Well, director Baz Luhrman is not known for busting the blocks. Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge and Australia all came in around $50 million. Gatsby has a lot more hype associated with it than those movies, however. What, with the Leonardo DiCaprio, and the Jay-Z “producing” the soundtrack, and what could be the year of Carey Mulligan. Plus, the fact that it was supposed to come out over Christmas means its had and extra 6 months of advertising.

I have no idea how to handicap this thing. Low grossing pedigree, huge star power, tons of hype, mixed reviews. No clue!

Prediction: $50 million opening. $140 million total.

The other would-be interesting question is: How much will The Great Gatsby take away from Iron Man 3? But, since Liz owns both, I don’t think it makes a difference for her. The peeple who go to The Great Gatsby instead of seeing Iron Man 3 will still generate money for Liz, and vice versa. Thankfully, I don’t have to try and speculate on how that will work out, since this movie eludes me. Though I think Iron Man 3 wins the weekend again with, like, $85 million.

That’s it for this week. Enjoy the weekend. Don’t forget, it’s Mother’s Day!


3 thoughts on “Coming Attractions – May 10

  1. I saw Australia on an airplane. It felt like it last the entire flight to Europe.

    Also I very much enjoy the versus. It reminds me of Mortal Kombat! FINISH HER

    1. That’s because I took took the background from the actual Mortal Kombat. I had fun picturing a Liz character that whacks guys with her giant bag and does lots of jump-dancing attacks.

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